Today the new South Park aired, and although I was ready for 30 minutes of hilarity that would ensue, I was not at all ready for the shocking similarities that I share with one of the characters, Craig. Meredith was the first to bring this shocking resemblance to my attention, later followed by Cody and other people close to me. Craig Tucker goes to school with the four boys and can usually be found giving the middle finger. In tonight’s episode Cartman referred to Craig as “extremely negative” and it really got me thinking, am I too negative? I must be if friends and family go out of their way to point out similarities such as these. Now, I know you might be thinking that I am in some way upset that the people closest to me consider me to be negative, but being the sick and twisted person that I am, I was a little flattered. You see, I figure everybody needs a friend like me, a friend who is brutally honest and rarely take other peoples feelings into consideration. I like to think that I snap people back into realtity, I’m the person who always thinks about the worst that can happen and then prepares for it. You might call it being a Debbie Downer but I like to think that I am just being realistic. Not only do I plan for the worst, I complain, A LOT. I will be the first one to point out your flaws and criticize your mistakes. I’ve heard people say that a person who brings down others only does this because they themselves are insecure, and to that I would like to say FALSE. I am the epitome of confidence, I ooze it out of my pores, I'm judgmental and feel no remorse for my opinions or actions. I just feel that it is my civic duty to embarrass and insult all of the stupid people that I encounter in hopes it will keep them from making the same mistakes twice and annoying the crap out of me. I’m kind of like a missionary in a sense; you can call me the Mother Teresa of the New Millennium. You can shake your head saying that I am negative, narcissistic and rude but deep down you all know that you have a friend like me (and for most of you it actually is me) and you think my poking fun at other peoples expense is pretty hilarious. Admit it, you all know you would be lost without the Craig's and Colleen's in this world. ;]
And THAT is the reason nobody likes you guys at school.
